Splittingly Funny

Perhaps somewhere in your memory, is a humiliating incident of the time you bent over and your pants split. I seem to have a knack for wardrobe malfunctions:

• The time my skirt split as I was walking back to my office during lunch and I had to skulk back, holding the ends of it together and hoping no one noticed. A co-worker saved me by lending me a skirt--she lived just a block from the office.
• The time I wore a brand new pair of slacks to work, and on the way home, I squatted on the subway platform to get something out of my back and the seat split.
• The time I got to work wearing a new skirt only to discover one of the seams burst.
• Today, as I sat down in my chair, and the seat lining of my trousers has just popped open.
  

I know of no one else who keeps a spare pair of pants in a desk drawer. And if there were someone else, I doubt they'd use those pants as much as I do.