As I idle here at my desk, cleared of almost all its clutter, I am considering my next moves. I have a job interview on Tuesday with a consulting firm. I am waiting for a call from another firm, who I may just call myself if I don't hear from them by lunchtime.
But I'm thinking about direction. Where am I coming from? Who am I? Where am I going?
This is Gaugin's masterpiece: Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?
A few years back, the MFA ran an exhibit, Gaugin in Tahiti. I had never really appreciated Gaugin until then, mostly seeing him as a misogynistic pseudo-Impressionist. But I loved the exhibit, especially seeing a familiar piece I had always known from the Worcester Art Museum. Growing up in Central Mass, no year of elementary school was complete without a trip to the Worcester Art Museum, a wonderful gem of a museum that not enough people know about or go to. It was amazing to see the Brooding Woman in context at last, and it suddenly made sense to me.
I loved seeing the freedom that Gaugin experienced in Tahiti, to explore his art, his passion. And now, as I enter a "free" stage in my life, I want to really discover my passions and learn what I want to set as a goal for myself.
For the past five years, I have wanted to be a college president. My dream was to found an educational complex, a college with a K-12 school attached to it. A women's college and school. A school with half the students paying tuition, and the other half on full grants, coming from places where women are not allowed or encouraged to be educated, women from Sudan, Pakistan, Indonesia, and rural China. I had dreams of an international experience for women, to band together, to take their skills to these places where women are oppressed and demand change, work for change. This was my dream.
And now, I don't think being a college president will get me there. I think I need to immerse myself in learning to raise funds, but also to learn about how to work for social change. Dreaming big isn't going to get me anywhere without action. And now, in this time of freedom, I am going to figure out how to create action.
Light, camera, ACTION.