Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Room of One's Own

I sit in my office, eating Thai fried rice and gazing out my window at a beautiful view of downtown. It has been a successful day; my staying late yesterday to review my inherited files and binders paid off in my morning meeting when my boss went over accounting procedures with me. I had already deduced a fair amount of what she explained, so it was much easier to process the information. Just like a classroom lecture makes so much more sense when you've done the reading the night before.

The night before my first day, I had a dream that I was desperately trying to get to work, but somehow the T had been rearranged so that it was impossible to make transfers or even get on and off the train at the right stops. Of course that was nerves, but yesterday, I needn't have worried. I spent most of yesterday in Orientation, only arriving at my desk at 3:00. Then I spent 3 hours exploring my office's contents.

This afternoon, I'll be meeting again with my boss to review some other procedures, and I'm looking forward to it. And while I'm on my own, I've discovered I'm free.

I'm free from people barging into my space with petty jobs that keep me from getting real work done. I'm free from people looking over my shoulder. I'm free to go get lunch or take a quick walk to stretch without having to explain myself to anyone. I'm free from people noticing when I get in and when I leave. It's an incredible feeling to know that I am trusted to do my own work in my own space. I'm so happy to be here. My boss is fantastic; I made it clear this morning that if I'm not doing something right, I want to be told and not let it fester, and I want her to tell me if I'm not doing something at all and it's under my responsibility, and
she stopped me to say, "Can I tell you if you're doing something great?" She was very kind and impressed that I'd stayed last night and figured out so much on my own.

It makes me realize that I have been undervaluing myself. I'm definitely capable of doing a lot, and I'm most definitely smart, clever, and intelligent. And all this time, I've been letting myself drag in the assistant's chair. I'm destined for great things, I have a Star, a la Napoleon, and I can tell this will be a place that I will shine.

1 responses:

Constance Squared said...

I'm so glad that it's going so well!

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